Survival (2016) (Film Review)

Survival (2016) Also known as “Dark Web”. Oh no! A French movie!!! I got suckered in just because Danny Glover is in it. Danny has never been a great actor. He was never even a good actor. But when you have his fame and success, the least you could do would be to at least respect the cinema.

For those who think all French films are good, watch this one! You’re in for a real blow to your vision of art. Everything about this film is bad: the actors, the script, the story, the title, the dialogue, the action scenes. And the lead actress, who has to put on a sexy outfit after being kidnapped, puts it on without flinching. Watching her run through the forest in a garter belt is perhaps the film’s only pleasure. There’s even a sex scene between a criminal and a prisoner tied to his chair. It’s a real low point.

If you don’t know the definition of catastrophic decay, this film can largely help you. I really wonder if there’s really even one person on the team who saw this film and said: “Ahhh! We really did a good job!” Because if that’s the case, you really need to change jobs and become a cab driver, window washer or dishwasher in a small restaurant. No, but seriously: save your money, save your time and energy for other things, like playing Frisbee with the DVD if you’ve already bought it. Ah la la!

When the French try to do what the Americans do, it almost never works. “Méandres” is probably the only exception. I’ve just written this review after seeing only half the film. I know it’s only going to get worse. And it’s going to be an ordeal to watch it all the way through… I hope Bruno Vaussenat never makes another film. He’d be better off working on a building site. PS : Even Apex (2021) is better than this !

My Rating