Room in Rome (2010)

Room in Rome (2010) Original title: Habitación en Roma A relatively boring film, not to say completely rubbish! Okay! Let’s be clear: just because it’s not an American film, there’s a mix of cultures, we hear Russian, Italian and Spanish and we see two young women naked throughout the film… doesn’t mean it’s a good film!!!!

This is a Spanish film directed by Julio Medem starring Elena Anaya and Natasha Yarovenko, depicting the emotional and sexual relationships of two women over the course of a single night in a hotel room in Rome. The plot is loosely based on another film, In Bed. Room in Rome is Medem’s first English-language film.

At first, the two actresses seemed quite natural (in every sense of the word!), but alas, I was wrong. What’s more, the dialogue is extremely flat and boring. Yarovenko did, however, win two Best New Actress awards for her role, one at the Turia Awards and the other at the 25th Goya Awards. Her first film appearance was in a very sexual film: ‘Insatiable: Diary of a Sex Addict’. That’s saying a lot!At the end of 2010, Yarovenko bought a small island in the Bahamas for $200,000. Unbelievable! It’s funny, because in the film, she apparently already has a dream house in a dream region. Prediction? Manifestation?

Why did I decide to watch this film? I didn’t think it would just be about two naked women behind closed doors. In fact, it’s almost weird to see them getting dressed at the end. I love being behind closed doors, but not when the people talking lie, then admit they lied before telling another story without knowing if they can be believed this time. I thought there would just be a night of unsettling adventure and the two women would leave for their respective lives obsessing over what happened in Rome between them. I thought the film would move a bit more, that there would be less sex, that there would be a bit more sunlight…

It’s safe to say that this is another pointless film with a lousy script. It pretends to be subtle, with its paintings and pseudo-artistic direction. A pair of mediocre actors. If you compare it to the film ‘Lovers of the Arctic Circle’ by the same director, you’d really do well to consider giving up cinema… or becoming a porn director, perhaps?

Here’s the shortest comment I could find: “Totally rubbish … I lasted 15 minutes, which is already a lot!” I always think it’s a shame to judge a film without seeing it (in full). But in this case, that’s a good point! He must have realised that it was going to be the same all the way through. Especially as this joke lasts ONE HOUR AND FORTY-THREE minutes! The shortest jokes are usually the best.

Having said that, I tell myself the film isn’t really mean-spirited and I wonder if that makes it any good? Even if it’s still a story of deception, it can be seen as a story about discovering true love. Except… Instead of a pretty story, we’re faced with a film that cultivates bad taste. The pace is jerky, the direction is simplistic and the script is really poor. At what level should we watch this dreck? At least fourteen? And in a group, during a binge (and only once everyone is completely full). Then it’s bound to be hilarious.

Unfortunately for me, a thousand times over, I saw it solo and completely sober! And I thought it was a real film! Ouch, ouch, ouch, I fell flat on my face. In short, it’s better to know: it’s a big gag, a buffoonery. So you’ve been warned. To add to the grotesquerie, the directors, the buffoonish actresses, everyone pretends to take themselves seriously. It was certainly daring! Some people thought it was a masterpiece. I don’t think we have the same notion of cinema. It takes exceptional stamina to see it through to the end. Good luck to all those who take the plunge! At least this turnip didn’t cost much to make. And that makes it even better!

A single set, around 25 m², made of papier-mâché, which sails between Greece and Ancient Rome, with a diversion through the Italian Renaissance. Oh yes, there’s also Google Earth, which you can see quite a bit of! And there’s an imitation of a high balcony, under which nobody comes to sing the serenade, because it’s low to the ground!

You’ll understand if you see the only man in the film trying to have a threesome with the ladies. As for the clothes, the budget was also very low: two thongs, one of which tears along the way, which had to be hired because they disappear so quickly. We hardly see them any more. We see them in bathrobes in the last part, in the last twenty minutes. I wonder, though, if the heating was expensive… I don’t even think there’s a bar of soap or a tube of toothpaste in the bathroom. That’s how tight it was!

The ‘script’ and the dialogue are of the same minimalist nature. And it goes round and round in circles. It’s a throwback to certain pornographic works that tried to innovate in their sector of activity (much decried and more often ignored by the critics). But then again, it’s not enough to put two beautiful actresses naked in a bedroom to make a drama about sexuality and love. At least not like this! It’s a far cry from Celestial Creatures, for example, which is considered a masterpiece without a single sex scene.

I found this piece of criticism that says: “Let’s face it! It’s rather hypocritical to play down the impact of the caressing scenes and to put up a ban on under-18s at every turn. But it’s always fashionable to criticise ‘adult cinema’, isn’t it?’” I’m not sure I agree. As far as I’m concerned, as I said, I didn’t think it would be such a sexual film.

So I’ve had my fill, I wouldn’t have needed any unmitigated scenes. Yes, sir! In fact, I couldn’t believe a word those two chicks were saying. All the dialogue sounded very unrealistic. I really can’t imagine two women talking like that in real life, although I’m aware that it’s a very theatrical film. The acting was poor, especially by the Russian girl, because the way she smiles is very artificial and idealistic. I don’t understand how she managed to win her two prizes. The whole story is far too thin, unrealistic and more like a man’s fantasy than anything else. Lacking substance, Room in Rome has become a soft porn film, but, because it feels so contrived, it doesn’t really become erotic either. So what’s left for us to enjoy? Very little. If seeing two beautiful naked women is all you need to enjoy a film, then watch it! But if, apart from the beautiful bodies, you, like me, need a credible story, then please don’t waste your time!

This film is so long, it beats around the bush… and so do I in this review, because I want to shoot this film down so badly! The shots are too long. And the icing (or watermelon) on the cake: you hear the same song from beginning to end and it’s really annoying. It ends up boring and disgusting, just like everything else. As you can see, I strongly advise against it.I like the title, it’s a sort of rhyme, but in fact… no, not even! So it’s a throwaway!