The Lobster (2015)

The Lobster (2015) a crude, vulgar, stupid, pointless film… but one that thinks it’s subtle, intelligent, and essential! Crazy!!!

The proof? It says on the cover, “a real one-off, cool, intelligent, and dizzyingly funny,” when I think quite the opposite. It’s depressing, idiotic, boring as hell, even interminable and pathetic… and it’ll only make fans of black humour and ultra-pessimistic people laugh.

A film that thinks it’s joining the great 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and Brave New World… but doesn’t come close. A pathetic dystopia that is an insult to other dystopias. The important messages don’t cover more than 5 minutes of the film. We can add Equilibrium to this list of important films.

They’re mostly important stories, cult books, rather than good cinematic works. But in that case, let’s also add Minority Report and The Island, or even Equals and Level 16.

Yorgos Lanthimos has largely earned the place of one of the worst directors in the galaxy in my little heart, which nevertheless has plenty of room. How fortunate for him, given that I don’t easily hate artists! Dogtooth was already one of the worst films, and this is very faithful to his very bad work.

There’s very little in this film that doesn’t suck. The film finally becomes interesting after 53 minutes… but only for two or three minutes!

The film is rubbish, the story is pathetic, the ending is rubbish, the title is irrelevant, and the plot twists are ridiculous. What’s more, there are plenty of unanswered questions.

No, really! I’m not going to find anything good about this piece of rubbish. Even if I could live a thousand years.