Dogtooth (2009)

Dogtooth (2009)

Lame !!!!!!!!!!! I’ve rarely hated a film so much. I didn’t think it was still possible to find something worse than all the worst I’ve seen. I should write to CeDe and ask them to put at least 5 stars on the negative. It’s too hard not to give zero stars to such rubbish.

Well… I’m going to have fun translating the comments (positive and negative) into German and shooting them down! To each his own favourite game! “Good mini-games :-). The idea is great, the execution too long!” I definitely prefer my translation game more. Personally, I think the idea is good… but not everyone can make a film like The Village. Although, I admit, the director has gone peanuts, too. Too long? To say the least!

“A disturbing and unusual film. Just what you need for a change from routine cinema.” Now that’s clear! But if it’s just to show something different, I can also show the mess in my living room and that would be much more interesting, because it’s artistic at least.

“Yorgos Lanthimos! Spelt correctly? I don’t know, but it’s a name to remember, even if it’s not easy. This little Greek arrives with no money, but a lot of anger in his belly, and gives us a masterpiece in the purest Lynchian tradition. The fantastic script is brimming with sublime black humour, yet manages to be taken seriously as a drama. The Oscar nomination for Best Foreign Film seems absurd because of the explicit sex scenes (as if American prudes could stand that). There’s only one thing left for me to do: give the thumbs up as high as I can, fuck the Greeks… we’d almost be scared of them!”

Who cares if it’s spelt correctly! He’s not a director I’m going to follow. Maybe I’ll insult him if I see him in the street or listen to his problems for his money. A masterpiece in the purest Lynchian tradition? Maybe… but you’ll have to tell me which drug to take to see things from that angle. Black humour? There’s absolutely nothing funny here; everything is completely pathetic.

Drama? It’s the fact of making such a boring film that’s dramatic. An insult to the 7th art! The Oscar nomination for best foreign film is often due to the fact that they have nothing else to sink their teeth into. To criticise American cinema, you have to be able to do better! This film resembles the worst French films I’ve seen. Just as poorly acted and insipid, with bland dialogue and inconsistencies at every turn.

If this film is representative of Greek cinema, then I’ll have no problem staying in the Nordic countries (Sweden, Iceland, Denmark), including Germany and England. There’s only one thing left for me to do: close my review with this comment! “It’s boring psychological stuff, peppered with sex scenes you’d rather not see. In a way, you’re interested in what happens next, but as the film progresses, that interest wanes, and by the end you realise you’ve just wasted 90 minutes. Absolutely not recommended!”

Ahhhhhhhhhhh! At last someone has got it right. It’s about time! We won’t be back! Ciao !!!!!!!!!