Decoys (2004)

Decoys (2004) is a Canadian film directed by Matthew Hastings that was broadcast on The Movie Network and in the United States on 26 June 2004 on Sci Fi Channel.

If you’re watching this film for Nicole Eggert, you should know that we don’t see her for more than ten minutes. For her biggest fans, that’s always a good thing. For the rest of us, there’s absolutely nothing incredible about her.

Some of the students aren’t exactly what they seem in Decoys, a sci-fi/horror adventure starring Kim Poirier (Dawn Of The Dead), Richard Burgi (Starship Troopers 2 and Desperate Housewives, of all things!), Corey Sevier (TV’s North Shore) and, appropriately, Nicole Eggert (TV’s Baywatch).

If students Lily and Constance look like two extraordinary blonde beauties, it’s because they’re actually intergalactic space invaders whose mission is to reproduce with humans before taking over the Earth. And even though the girls’ mating skills have proved fatal to their victims, they keep trying. So when partying freshman Luke stumbles upon the shapeshifters in their alien bodies, he knows it’s up to him to save the planet before his life gets really messed up.

As you will have gathered, this film is first and foremost a horrific comedy. There are mythical lines like: ‘This is the story of my life: I’m trying to save the world and nobody wants to believe me!’

I’ve just read that this film makes people laugh, but not as much as Alien vs Ninja. Check it out!

There are quite a few fairly sexual scenes, but in a teenage film like this, that’s to be expected. I don’t know if it’s a fantasy of the director’s, but it probably is. If it’s based on a book, it’s the writer’s fantasy. So it’s a teen movie that’s bound to get a bad rap, occasionally funny, but almost instantly forgettable. A film with pretty girls that will put many in a good mood…

An amusing moment that I didn’t completely dislike, but far from being great cinema. Some of the actors resemble other well-known actors and they even make the reference for the one who looks like an Elijah Wood.

But let’s be honest: this film lacks pace, the script is pretty lame, there’s no suspense, the acting can easily be described as bad, although it’s more the characters who are laughable and, as a result, not really likeable. In short, if I had to give one piece of advice, it would be to skip it, because what you have here is the equivalent of the ideal for an afternoon TV film, if not perfect for an afternoon matinee. Nobody really needs that!

The story isn’t necessarily very original these days, but I’ve seen far worse as a mainstream horror film, which is why I’m not going to give it the lowest score. It’s far from being the scariest, but it’s also far from being the worst.

What’s more, it’s always a great pleasure to see Meghan Ory again, who was in the first Dead Rising (2015), but not in the second, alas.

The ending is dark, but given that it’s mostly a comedy, it’s not a dramatic ending that’s going to send viewers over the edge, unless they’re really hypersensitive.

And to think there’s a Decoys 2!
Here’s the story: ‘A group of young American students are shocked to discover that the hottest girl at university is in fact a dangerous, bloodthirsty alien…’.
Definitely for fans of nanars in need.

Corey Sevier and Kim Poirier are back… but what’s interesting is that the excellent Dina Meyer is also on board. Now it’s up to you to make your choices!