Night Teeth (2021)

Night Teeth (2021)

Another bad movie from 2021!

And another pretty bad vampire movie. I don’t think it’s going to make people like the genre.

A young driver takes two mysterious strangers from party to party. But as their true nature is revealed, he must fight to stay alive.

This movie won’t appeal to true and die-hard fans of bloodsucker movies. Nor to those who already dislike them… unless they’re action fans. Because, let’s face it, there’s no tension, no suspense, no eroticism, and not even any gore!

That said, just as he manages to pull off the well-known theme of the birth of superheroes in “I Boy,” Adam Randall manages to do the same with the well-worn theme of vampires in “Night Teeth.” There is a certain originality, but the intro is a failure and you have to wait a quarter of an hour for the film to become interesting. This is followed by ten fairly enjoyable minutes, but after that, it’s very uneven.

The final blow is the ending, which is sloppy, not very thoughtful, and not very creative. Nothing very original there. And after enjoying a few moments of entertainment, I knew I had wasted my time.

Apparently, this director’s must-see film is I See You (2019). I’m not particularly enthusiastic about it, nor am I in a hurry to see it. Or maybe just for the pleasure of writing another review. You never know: that’s how you can stumble upon gems, but really, in this case, I doubt it.

Night Teeth is a kind of offspring of the libertine coupling between the film Collateral (really good), trendy teen vampires (very mediocre at best, with extreme simplification of the myth) and liberal propaganda (BLM, neo-feminist jokes, quotas, breaking stereotypes, etc.). It was watchable, but it won’t leave a lasting impression either.

What can I say about Jorge Lendeborg Jr.? He plays an annoying main character, like we’ve seen many times before, but not the worst kind. He’s a little touching, more annoying than funny… but I’m not sure I understand his choices and motivations. For a guy who says he’s not interested in girls, he falls in love pretty quickly!

Debby Ryan has a semblance of talent. I think she’s worth seeing in other films. Her fans were delighted to see her here, I suppose. Especially if they like vampires! The cute and sweet Debby Ryan, whose appearance is reminiscent of Disney TV movie actresses, inevitably plays the “good vampire,” while the more devious and badass-looking actress, Lucy Fry, necessarily plays the vampire with no morals or conscience. The real bitch on duty, basically!

Alfie Allen has never been in any movies that interested me. Yes, it happens!
But it’s the same for Lucy Fry, unfortunately! Or maybe I’ll watch Last Looks one of these days, who knows!

Well, I’m not going to talk about all the actors. None of them are really incredible. That’s probably why Sydney Sweeney and Megan Fox have their names on the poster, because you have to attract prey. If you’re watching this movie for those two, be aware that they only appear, or rather are briefly glimpsed, in one single scene. And it doesn’t last much longer than five minutes. Unfortunately, they are reduced to playing extras. If they had played the two leading roles, it would have changed everything!

We all agree that the film didn’t look like much, but it seemed at least fun and somewhat original, right?! Being a Netflix production, it feels more like a film by a novice director than a polished, well-thought-out, mature production. I don’t understand how the film is being marketed: it’s both an action-based film and a deliberate departure from the norm through the perspective of the human driver.

In fact, the action is always filmed in the background, with sequences resembling any run-of-the-mill action movie, while the film never directly injects any irony or humor, apparently not playing with the codes of vampire movies!

My conclusion:

Vampires in Los Angeles? Why not! Except that the further the story progresses, the less interesting it becomes, as everything becomes more or less predictable. The director takes no risks. We have to settle for the mediocre performances of the three main actors, including the very sexy but not necessarily charismatic Debby Ryan and Lucy Fry (a better dancer than actress in this film!). I can easily say that the two female vampires are played by very bad actresses who have a string of flops to their name.

An irrelevant vampire movie that struggles to convince. The film is weighed down by long dialogues that no one cares about and a very heavy-handed romance. As for the male cast, it’s close to disaster with Raúl Castillo and Alfie Allen.

No, really! While there have been countless attempts at vampire movies, this one breaks records for mediocrity. The script is incredibly bad, supposedly telling the story of a vampire living peacefully among humans, but these so-called vampires do nothing but get drunk on champagne in luxury cars! All the absurd clichés about the rich on the West Coast.

The poor guy who’s just trying to get by in life finds himself involved in parties and luxury hotels, playing the overly curious chauffeur in a blood-drinking vampire cult. It’s terribly long and uninteresting, the scenes follow one another without any logic, it’s all talk and no action…

The list goes on! What a shame.

A vampire movie that lacks bite!