The Babysitters (2007)

The Babysitters (2007)

A disaster of a film, also known as: Lie with Me Again

In German, the title is ‘Für Geld geben sie Dir alles’, which means ‘For money, they’ll give you anything’! Yes, that certainly sets the tone! Except that I didn’t know the title and hadn’t read the film’s synopsis either.

What a sad life… especially if it’s actually realistic! Which I very much doubt… but would it really be that surprising?

OK, maybe I’m being incredibly naive. But I genuinely thought a film called Babysitters would be about… babysitters! Not about a girl who discovers that by prostituting herself, she could buy extra handbags or thongs.

A film that makes you believe or proves (I can’t tell anymore, today!) that almost all girls, if not all, would sell their bodies for a few pennies or a small handful of cash. And that all dads would want to sleep with the babysitter, even if they had to pay for it!

Here’s the summary so you understand what I’m talking about:

Secretly in love with Michael Beltran, whose children she looks after, Shirley Lyner doesn’t push him away when he kisses her passionately. To ease his guilt, he offers her a substantial sum of money. By becoming his mistress, Shirley sees an unexpected way to pay for her studies: she then sets up a full-blown prostitution ring under the guise of a babysitting service.

These two lines of synopsis sum up the film well, perhaps even giving away a bit too much… since they constitute the film’s entire script. Every last detail and nuance is revealed here! Impressive!!!

I’ll carry on, so you don’t have to waste your time and so you’re fully up to speed: By becoming his mistress, Shirley sees an unexpected way to pay for her studies: she sets up a full-blown prostitution ring under the guise of a babysitting service, demanding 20% of the earnings from her employees, recruited from among her school friends. However, her rules are challenged by some of the girls, who try to double-cross her…

No, you’re not dreaming! !!

John Leguizamo isn’t necessarily a safe bet, even though he’s starred in interesting (often unsuccessful) or significant films such as Romeo + Juliet (1996), The Happening (2008), Spawn (1997), Moulin Rouge! (2001), Kick-Ass 2 (2013), To Wong Foo – Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar (1995), The Menu (2022) or Summer of Sam (1999). There you go, it’s up to you to decide which ones are good and which ones are bad. But in any case, they’re all a bit more worth watching than the one I’m reviewing right now!

If you were hoping for a slightly risqué film—not XXX, but erotic—you’re likely to be disappointed too!

Among those who loved this feature film, it would obviously be interesting to know which of the reviewers are teenagers (male/female) and which are parents!

A topic that’s probably valid, but morally a tad sensationalist. It’s explored without really providing any answers to this ‘street adventure’! So? What about the double life? What are we trying to address here? Money? Pleasure? Experiences? Unhappiness? Nymphomania?

A teenager, though not unhappy, full of hormones, who discovers she has the soul of a streetwalker with adults in need and who causes affairs! But the worst thing is that they’ve managed to create a Hollywood-style happy ending where everything is perfect in the best of all possible worlds and everything falls back into place. THE END

0 Stars