Guardians (2017)

Guardians (2017)

Released the same year as Guardians of the Galaxy 2, the latter must have overshadowed this film even more!

I could have simply written:

“It’s awful!

— Bad acting

— Weak plot

— Mediocre special effects

This movie isn’t worth a dime!!!”

But on April 1, 2018, I wrote another, slightly longer review:

“Oh my!

What a shame!

A very American spectacle!

It’s the height of irony for a Russian movie!!!

They’re seen as the U.S.’s number one enemies.

Will North Korea and Iran soon be making American superhero movies too?

Germany already has a cinema scene that resembles this at times. As for England, they’re often the first to jump on whatever’s trending in America… but they’ve always managed to keep their own unique touch. Whether through humor, satire, or authenticity.

Apparently, we’re now seeing an explosion of superheroes outside of America. With Rendel, who’s already from Finland. And outside of Marvel and DC as well.

Well, these two giants have produced so many heroes that it’s really hard to come up with anything original.

There are always super-fast characters that remind you of The Flash.

There are always girls who can turn themselves invisible. Why? Is the myth of the Invisible Man, aka Skinner, seen as ultra-sexist?

Guardians is a standalone film. It had a lot going for it to succeed and be good. Unfortunately, it isn’t good. I could still almost give it three stars to bump up its rating a bit, because I think there are, in the end, so many worse ones out there! And it isn’t in the top 100 or even 500 of the worst films in human history.

I’d have a thousand things to say, but I wouldn’t have the space, and no one would read this all the way through if I did. That said, there’s still the issue of globalization. Am I for or against it? I’m not against the fact that every country in the world plays rock, punk, or even ska. I’m not against the fact that every country has its own superheroes. In fact, I’m not even against the fact that there are McDonald’s everywhere. It’s not so much McDonald’s that’s troubling, but the fact that it’s everywhere.

Now, is the superhero a bad thing? Is he unhealthy? Weren’t they created in the first place to give courage to troops going off to war? And it was only later that they quickly became ultra-patriotic with their blue, white, and red (could there be a direct link between Americans and the French???) Well… we’ll talk another time about the unhealthy aspects of these heroes or the ethics involved.

The fact is that Guardians is poorly made at times. The bear isn’t very well done. You can tell too easily that it’s a fake in certain scenes. The actors don’t always act very well either.

We expect something else from the ending. Although there aren’t those endless action scenes (which is probably a good thing), it’s still a pretty lame ending, you have to admit.

But the heroes are well-liked.

We’re thinking, of course, of the Avengers team.

We’re also thinking of Gerard Butler in 300, too, with that bearded actor!!!

Obviously, we’re thinking of the Fantastic Four too.

This movie is still better than that lousy Fantastic Four remake.

Anyway!

They clearly set up a sequel at the end.

They’ll really have to step up their game to make it good. It better be better, or else it’ll be the end of the Guardians.

What a shame!

Really!!!

There you go! So… even though that unhappy ending hinted at a sequel, it was inevitably canceled for good, given the film’s lack of success. After the film flopped at the box office, Enjoy Movies declared bankruptcy and shut down. You could say Guardians 2 is a canceled Russian superhero movie! Its plot was unknown, but it was supposed to introduce another superhero from China.

According to Wikipedia, the flood of negative reviews this film received is pretty crazy! People are calling it a “mess,” with a “relatively implausible plot,” “banal,” “weak,” “poor,” and a storyline that’s “boring and monotonous.” Apparently, “the plot […] is just a pretext, […] everything is rushed through at lightning speed without being properly developed,” and “the screenwriters largely ripped off Avengers”. Some scenes are also criticized for moving too quickly: the various main characters are introduced in just the first five minutes, which doesn’t allow for proper character development, and the final scene, depicting the battle against the main antagonist, is also deemed too fast and easy compared to the other confrontations. Blasting News adds that this “ending [is] forced and unconvincing.” The fight scenes are indeed described as “bad,” “repetitive,” and “boring,” with action that “doesn’t measure up.” The characters, played by actors who “do a pretty good job,” “lack depth” and whose actions are “predictable,” are “boring characters”! Is that all?? Impressive!!!