The Threesome (2025)

The Threesome (2025)

Pfffffffffffff!!! I could also say: sheesh or ugh!

I was originally looking for a thriller. I’m also still desperately searching for good films from 2025 to at least try and round off my Top 10, but I didn’t think it would be such a difficult task!

When I realised it was some sort of romantic comedy, I told myself I’d try to keep an open mind. After the first half-hour, I thought to myself that it was going to be really tough to sit through nearly two hours of it. So I went and read some reviews. To my surprise, the only really negative review I found was incomprehensible and sloppily written. As a result, it lost all credibility. There was even one person who simply copied the synopsis and added a “Not too bad!” as if that actually provided any information (important or otherwise).

That said, I’m relieved not to have found any comments claiming it’s a masterpiece. They probably exist, but I don’t really want to know! Overall, people say it’s touching, that it’s not as rubbish as you might imagine, and that the fine line between comedy and drama makes the whole thing very enjoyable.

Here’s my take: I find the characters, for the most part, exasperating, unbearable, irritating and very annoying. This quickly makes it very difficult for me to watch. The dialogue may be natural, but a film still needs to make you want to watch it. Otherwise, you might as well go out onto the street and listen to people talking about their problems and their own dramas. Just listen in at the local pub and you’re sorted!

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t bring myself to see this film in a positive light, from a favourable perspective. I found it pathetic. Admittedly, the idea of taking responsibility is brilliant and even essential. But I felt no empathy for these clumsy, lost, tortured people, who think they’re funny and clever. It all seemed to drag on for ages. Yet I’m neither hardened nor insensitive. I could reel off a whole list of films that have moved me or brought me to tears.

I read this review: “This film attempts to focus on the consequences of a lively evening between a man and two women. A night that will change them, but also their relationships. Despite a provocative title that might suggest a ‘sex comedy’ from a bygone era, this is a sensible film, never vulgar, which places particular emphasis on the weight of responsibility and the fear of commitment. In short, a coming-of-age story with its fair share of doubts.”

It’s certainly a far cry from anything in American Pie 1 to 8! YES, there were eight of them!!! Admittedly not always with the same cast, but… anyway!

To say there’s no vulgarity here… well, yes and no! There isn’t really any nudity, and you don’t see the sex scene mentioned in the credits. Even all those kisses aren’t passionate or lingering. It’s really just lips against lips, not tongue against tongue. And that’s a good thing, artistically and sensually speaking. But it’s still about a threesome! And this in a world where the protagonists’ parents are from a different generation, not always open-minded or understanding.

Despite everything, despite my best efforts, I was bored to death. Yet I tried so hard to like this film. I watched certain scenes several times, I tried to change my perspective, I tried to open my mind even further. I paused the film for a while to take my mind off things before watching the second half with a fresh perspective. Alas! It felt like an eternity; I didn’t like this film. There are a few plot twists and a touch of humour here and there, but it feels rather heavy-handed.

For me, it’s blasphemy to put Joy Division in the final scene. You can’t save one of the worst films by featuring one of the best bands on the planet. I can’t believe this film has been well received and is even on people’s recommended lists!

The best bits are when the film is finally over… and the blooper reel during the credits. Yes, I did enjoy that bit. It’s quite mad that the French voice actors really go all out for those moments too.

I’m going to quickly mention two or three actors:

I have no doubt that Zoey Deutch is an excellent actress. But I hated her character here so much that it’s unsettling. That undoubtedly shows some real talent, because it’s not easy to make people hate you in a film when you’ve been adored in others. My favourite film with her is definitely Juror #2 (2024), but it was a treat to see her in Zombieland 2 (2019) as well. Before the zombies, she was already among the vampires in Vampire Academy (2014). She was also perfect in the role of one of the sisters in Anniversary (2025).

Jonah Hauer-King hasn’t managed to make an impression on me yet, nor has he left a lasting mark. He was in I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025), a film that ruined the franchise with a ridiculous ending. Jonah played Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid (2023). I haven’t seen his series World on Fire. This actor reminds me of a second-rate Hugh Dancy and a Ryan Gosling in one of his worst roles. Not very complimentary, admittedly. His character is sickeningly naive in this rubbish film. That doesn’t help!

Ruby Cruz is undoubtedly the film’s biggest surprise for me. Apparently, she hasn’t appeared in many films yet, but her acting talent makes me want to follow her career. Her naturalness is quite disarming. Her character is also the one I like the most, so that certainly helps! It’s worth noting that she is the daughter of Brandon Cruz, an actor and punk rock musician who has sung for bands such as Dr. Know and the reunited Dead Kennedys. He is also an American publisher and consultant.

I find Jaboukie Young-White completely unbearable in this film. Obviously, that doesn’t make me want to see his other work. But it’s good to be objective! Let’s not forget that he became famous at a young age as a guest on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (2017–2018), he’s in the series Only Murders in the Building (2021–2022), and provided one of the voices in the animated film Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken (2023). In 2016, many of his memes, tweets and posts went viral. He is a comedian, actor, writer and musician. That said, purists of the past will probably dismiss him, claiming he only appeals to brainless youngsters and that this is proof the new generation no longer thinks for itself! But one can also admire him for being so multi-talented. To each their own!

The ending of the film is absolutely dreadful. It’s exactly what shouldn’t have happened if the film was to be saved in the slightest and considered a not-too-bad piece of work in the end. It’s a write-off!