Night Watch (2004)

Night Watch (2004)

Well… you’d expect a breath of fresh air from a fantasy film from Russia! But all things considered, I can understand why someone wrote: ‘A total dud! I’d be wary of films with Russians shot in Russia from now on. It’s a harbinger of a rotten trilogy!’

A trilogy that never happened, it seems to me. There was certainly a sequel… and I certainly won’t be watching it! No, I won’t be taking the time to watch Day Watch (2006), because I was already bored by it from start to finish.

It’s a mishmash of nonsense. The script has no head or tail (for example, a guy who’s almost dying is back on top form one minute later), it’s hard to make sense of it all, the visuals are ugly, and the video clip-style editing (or car ad imagery) makes you dizzy. I could stop there, because the list would go on and on. I should just limit myself to this one word that could sum up my feelings: rubbish!

But I’ll keep going for a while!
In terms of form, it’s not too bad (sets, special effects…) and that’s no doubt due to the size of the budget. But basically it’s a disaster and the script is just too bizarre.

This film was heralded as the Russian Matrix, but in the end, it’s far less accomplished and is even a sort of cross with Blade. The script is hyper-complicated and fills the screen with more confusing than useful length. What’s more, the actors are out of a Z-movie and the special effects occasionally make up for their shortcomings. Sometimes they’re decent, but really nothing more than that.

On paper, Night Watch seemed to be made for my eyes, and yet it didn’t take me for more than a second or two into its boring, Manichean world. Daredevil fans will say that it’s on the verge of being a daredevil, but that it doesn’t have any of the fun! From this I can deduce that it’s impossible to have a good laugh at a pizza party, as the film is meant to be deeply serious.

I was shocked to see someone write: ‘A sub-Watchmen, but really sub.’
In fact, I wouldn’t even have dared compare such a turnip to Zack Snyder’s great masterpiece. Granted, both films start with ‘Watch’, but still! Show some decency and respect!

A flashy, calamitous production. The screenplay is a mishmash of everything and anything, dripping with gaffes and scenes that border on the ridiculous, just like the dialogue and situations. I don’t know if the novel is any good, but the film is clearly bad. There’s nothing to stand out. Even the worst feature films in the genre are better. If I’d accidentally bought the sequel, I’d never have put it in my player.

This is by far the most horrible Russian film I’ve seen so far. There isn’t a single scene that makes the slightest sense to me! Everything was rushed and confusing, and no one explained the world of the story I was about to be immersed in, except that there is, apparently, a war between the night watchmen and the day watchmen.

The picture is relatively blurry most of the time and the music is pretty questionable.

I found one review that said, ‘Every detail of Night Watch has been seen before in much better quality most of the time. Like Lord of the Rings, Matrix, Blade, Constantine, X-Files, Star Wars. This film isn’t independent or new. It’s incredibly bad, and I certainly won’t be watching its sequels…’

A grotesque charade whose usefulness is limited to helping us sleep.