Birthday Girl (2025)

Birthday Girl (2025) Another bad Danish film that starts out like a thrilling American movie but quickly becomes one of the worst French films! To make a film, you need a minimum of direction—not just something very long and totally boring. Birthday Girl is supposed to be a thriller directed by Michael Noer. The screenplay was written by Jesper Fink and also by the director. Noer was inspired by an article he read about the number of cases of sexual assault that occur on cruise ships when they are in international waters. Interesting subject, but what a relief when the credits roll!

The film follows a mother (Trine Dyrholm, an actress, singer, and songwriter who has been active since 1982) and her daughter (Flora Ofelia Hoffmann Lindahl) as they struggle with the aftermath of a sexual assault on a cruise ship. We were promised something big, according to this presentation: “It should have been a wonderful holiday. Nanna, a divorcee, invites her alienated daughter Cille and her friend Léa on a cruise to celebrate Cille’s 18th birthday. For an unforgettable night of partying, Nanna leaves her daughter her bracelet, as she is not yet considered an adult but gives her free access to the bar. But what was supposed to be a wild evening turns into a terrible nightmare. High tension on the high seas: Danish superstar Trine Dyrholm (THE QUEEN) plays a mother who crosses the line.

PAPILLON director Michael Noer has staged his intense thriller in bright neon colors, which only makes the film’s atmosphere all the more eerie.” No, none of this was worth it. Watching this turnip, none of the actors made me want to see his entire filmography, and the director doesn’t make you want to follow him either. Not to be confused with Birthday Girl (2001), which was also far from good. Shot in Estonia, the film was filmed in the port of Tallinn, using ships that were moored in the port due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Some scenes were shot at the Tallink Spa & Conference Hotel and the Black Box Studio in Viimsi.

Filming began in March 2022, took 24 days, and finished in April 2022. The film employed over 600 extras, with a production team of 100 on location. What a waste of time for all those people!

Here are two criticisms to add to my own:

1) A lot of overlong scenes that could have been avoided. Some of the scenes aren’t very believable: the passenger wandering around in the kitchens and engine rooms; the police on board who don’t seem to want to find the culprit and leave the ‘detective’ mum to fend for herself. The actors aren’t very convincing, and neither is the direction. I didn’t really get hooked.

2) A mother’s search for her daughter’s rapist on a cruise quickly becomes exasperating. In addition to the constant jolting of the camera, we have to put up with catastrophic acting (especially by the actress playing the mother). In fact, I don’t know whether it’s the main actresses who are very bad or whether it’s the characters they play who are just unbearable. Probably a lot of both…