Conan The Barbarian (1982)

Conan The Barbarian (1982)

I watched this film 42 years after its release. I admit that it’s not really my thing, but I can’t but respect the work that’s been done. When I think of all the sets, all the actors, extras and special effects, even if the first giant snake is killed a little too easily. Indeed, the scene could have been even more spectacular. I think that if someone did it again today, it would be longer, but even more exaggerated, so it wouldn’t be any better either.

I understand that this film is considered classy and cult, as this review attests: ‘The film is the upper limit for this genre. With classy effects, bloody fight scenes and a classy cast, as well as a good story, this film has become a cult favorite that still plays well today. A classy Schwarzenegger film.’

The biggest fans must find this film ‘Babarically good!’ and think ‘Surely the role was tailor-made for Arnold. Appropriately brutal. Really a good Schwarzenegger film. A brutal world at the time, great film! The reference of the genre! Masterpiece!!!’

Some had even bought the film’s score. But is it John Milius‘ best film? I haven’t seen many, but I seem to have liked Red Dawn (1984).

Fantasy fans couldn’t have wished for anything better for the time, and would have liked the story to go on and on. They got chills down their spines with the violent staging and the brilliant voice (that of the narrator).
I’ve read so many fans write: ‘The ultimate classic! It’s rare to see Schwarzenegger so hard and raw. The first half-hour of this film is one of the best in cinema history! One of a kind! To this day, this film is unique in its genre! Great images accompanied by extremely powerful music. Very tough sword fights and a very nasty villain!’

After that, there are those who preferred Conan the Destroyer. But there are also those who thought ‘Let’s get a haircut!’ and those who think it’s mainly for Arnie‘s fans.

The film can seem very boring. You may find it formally unimaginative and based on a very primitive novel. It will shock a certain audience, above all because of the ideas it conveys: the cult of strength, pseudo-philosophical aphorisms as a way of thinking, rejection of others, hatred claimed and assumed. All of which makes it a very bad film in the true sense of the word.

Here’s a reviewer who’s not happy at all: ‘It can be seen as nothing more than a compilation of bullies who only know how to rant stupidly or play with their plastic swords. The rare rhetorical passages don’t compensate in the least for the sleepy old-fashioned inactivity of the scenes. You can even grant the music that it lulls us to sleep, keeping us somewhat distanced from this cinematic horror. No, really, this is a film I didn’t like. The story is nice, but the rest is catastrophic. The direction is poorly done, the action scenes not very credible, and I found the film to be full of scenes that were either really badly acted or very hollow and uninteresting. The construction of the characters is chaotic and the dialogue didn’t thrill me at all. On the other hand, the sets are rather nice.’ At least that much!

As I said at the beginning, I’m not going to shout ‘Hey, hey! Just amazing! This film is brilliant, so it’s a must-see! Everyone’s going to get a kick out of this film, whether they’re a Schwarzy fan or not… so: go and see it!!!’

No, I’m not going to say that! But I’m glad I saw it once and I respect all the work that’s been done and I’m aware that it’s a very good feature film for its time. I’m just not a fan of these kinds of films.

PS: I’m saddened to discover that Valérie Quennessen‘s tragic fate has come to an end at the age of 31. R.I.P.!