Coyotes (2025)

Coyotes (2025)

Yes, this time it’s coyotes!

Let’s take a look back at a few films featuring dangerous animals:

Featuring crocodiles, we have Black Water (2007) and its sequel Black Water: Abyss (2020), Crawl (2019), as well as the original Lake Placid (1999).

As for lions, we have Beast (2022), Prey (2024) starring Ryan Phillippe, Emile Hirsch and Mena Suvari, but there’s also Prey (2016), which is set in the heart of a city in the Netherlands.

Moving on to the only tiger I’m aware of in a film of this genre, in Burning Bright (2010).

As for sharks, the standouts are Jaws (1975), Open Water 1 & 2 (2003 & 2006), Great White (2021), The Shallows (2016), 47 Meters Down (2017) and The Devil’s Mouth (2026). Dangerous Animals (2025) isn’t too bad either.

Let’s move on to bears and grizzlies! We’ve got Into the Grizzly Maze (2015), Grizzly Night (2025) and I’ll also add Bear (2010).

Right, having talked about films that were more or less good, I’m going to have to talk about THIS film! And that, unfortunately, isn’t going to be very pleasant…

This feature film could have been excellent, but it fell short. It’s got a real edge of suspense, but it’s also full of comic elements. And that’s what ruins it all! It’s not a horror comedy that works. The humour didn’t land for me. They really should have made a choice here. It’s neither Evil Dead (1981), nor Gremlins (1984), nor Scream (1996), nor From Dusk Till Dawn (also 1996), nor Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)… and I could go on with this list for ages!

Here, we’re back to what The Big Bang Theory series managed to change: having intelligent characters in a comedy! Indeed, the characters in this film are exasperatingly stupid, and each one is more irritating than the last. We’re a long way from the situational comedy of British humour.

What I did like was the fact that the coyotes are as terrifying as you’d hope. They all look like the dreadful wolf in The Neverending Story (1984) and the ending is quite touching, though mixed with comedy, once again. An ending that will obviously seem ridiculous to some. But who cares: it’s fine!

Otherwise, when the characters appear, you suddenly see them in comic-book style with their names. It’s cool at first, but it quickly gets on your nerves. I felt no sympathy for these characters, nor any empathy. They all got on my nerves and I didn’t want to meet any of them. I didn’t really care what happened to them throughout the film.

Justin Long often plays annoying roles, although I did actually like him in Jeepers Creepers (2001). I don’t know him for being in good films, generally speaking. Whether it’s this one or some rubbish like For a Good Time, Call… (2012).

Kate Bosworth is about as likeable and charming as a prison door. She’s the complete opposite of my favourite actresses. She’s probably the Kate from the cinema I like the least. She was by no means the most memorable Lois Lane in the Superman films. The Immaculate Room (2022) would certainly have been better with a different actress. On the other hand, I did enjoy her in The Domestics (2018). The further the film went on, the more I found her quite nice. Black Rock (2012) is very average. Straw Dogs (2011) is decent.

Young Brittany Allen isn’t a bad actress, but she was already in the absolutely dreadful What Keeps You Alive (2018), and with this Coyotes, that makes two flops. That might put me off following her career any further. Yes, I could always give Backgammon (2015), for example, or It Stains The Sands Red (2016). But I must admit I won’t be making them a priority. Anyway!

A massive waste of my time! Unless you’re a really easy-going audience member, laugh at cheap humour and are prepared to put up with anything, I can’t see who this feature film could really appeal to.